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We can't pretend to like this version of motherhood

3/8/2024

• the version in which mothers are overwhelmed, overburdened, carry the bulk of childcare and household duties as well as the mental and emotional load of running a family simply because they are 'the mother' and are told ‘it’s a mother’s job’

• the version in which mothers feel trapped, undervalued, invisible and like they don’t matter

• the version in which mothers are so burnt out and have so many balls to juggle that their basic human needs are not met

• the version in which mothers are told they are good mothers only if they sacrifice themselves, their dreams, their desires to their children, if they devote themselves to their children 100% of the time

• the version in which mothers raise children isolated, disconnected with little to no help, little to no support, little to no community

• the version in which mothers are constantly judged and dragged over the coals for not being perfect mothers, with consequences on mental health, self esteem, levels of anxiety, depression, anger and resentment

• the version in which mothers are pushed to be perfect mothers and led to believe that they are the ones who are broken, the ones who don't measure up , if they can’t reach those unachievable standards of perfection

• the version in which mothers find their careers impacted by the simple fact of having children, face the motherhood penalty that impacts their income, performance evaluations, chances of promotion and likelihood of staying in careers that they have built up prior to motherhood (simply because they are mothers)

• the version in which mothers are told that feeling constantly guilty and not feeling good enough is a normal part of motherhood

•the version in which mothers feel such pressure to be perfect that they silence themselves and hide behind a mask of bliss and joy (the only emotions acceptable in motherhood, it seems) at the expense of their mental health

•the version in which mothers who openly express any kind of struggle with motherhood are told that they are either bad mums or depressed

• the version in which mothers are asked "but you love your children, don't you?", if they express any kind of discomfort, unease, struggle with motherhood

This may be uncomfortable, but this is the reality of modern motherhood for so many mothers and for so many of my clients. It has to be called out because patriarchal motherhood serves no one!

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On International Women's Day, the patriarchy is alive and well!

3/8/2024

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Like many women today, I attended an International Women’s Day event.

It was inspiring to have several women visibly stand up for themselves, recounting stories of overcoming adversity, trauma and seeking to inspire the next generation.

Far less visible were men in the audience. Less than a dozen in a room of hundreds of people!

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Stop telling mums to 'just take a break'

We can't pretend to like this version of motherhood

On International Women's Day, the patriarchy is alive and well!

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